The many joys of life.....

Romans 8:28

2011-06-15T20:59:00.002-04:00

Ah, Romans 8:28. It seems to be my mantra over the past two, VERY stressful, weeks. "All things work together for good for those that love God, and are called according to His purpose." Two weeks ago today our AC died. We knew it was not long for this world as it was original to the house.... The house that was built in 1984. But knowing the day was coming and actually having it arrive are two very separate things.

We were not quite prepared for the $6000 price tag that comes along with a new unit. But in spite of the sticker shock, this broken AC was such a blessing. When the kind repairman came out to diagnose our trouble, he told us that we were lucky that it broke when it did. If we had run our heater this winter the unit would have been spitting out massive amounts of carbon monoxide. See, Romans 8:28...God uses all things. Here I was frustrated and upset about a broken air conditioner, but all the while my Heavenly Father was saving us from what may very well have been a tragic situation.

I never thought I would be so thankful for a broken appliance. I just love how our Father takes care of us. Many times, it's so hard to see His will..... It's not always quite so blatant as it was in our situation. But I know that no matter what, He has a plan. He has a reason for what is happening. And it may take months or even years for His will to be revealed, but just know that He will reveal it.

So now when I look at the bank balance sheet and see that our savings has been depleted, I know why. And come this winter when we're running the heater, I will praise God and thank Him for keeping us safe.

Seasons

2011-05-25T17:00:00.043-04:00

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed lately. With two under two I struggle with keeping up with housework, laundry and general household maintenace. And maybe it's just me, but when I get behind, I then get overwhelmed. I struggle with where to spend my time. Toilet rings are calling my name, as are the behemoth pile of laundry and the wood floors that never seem to sparkle as they should. It can really get to me if I let it.

I know there will be time to clean house when the kiddos are bigger, but I'm not someone who tolerates dirt and grime so well. You laugh, I'm sure, knowing that I have two under two....Dirt and grime is a way of life. But right or wrong, I feel like much of my identity is tied to how clean and organized my home is. I'm a stay at home mom, part of my job description is to take care of my house. And right now, I feel like I'm failing. Hats off to the moms who can do it all and do it well. Currently, I'm doing good if everyone has clean underwear and I can get dinner on the table.

But this is a season, and I know it will be over all too quickly. I love these babies so much and I want to savor this time with them. But boy is it hard not to feel guilty when I see the dust bunny in the corner.

Time to breathe

2011-05-25T08:46:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm finally returning to the blogging world after a year long absence. As a mother to a 20 month old and an almost 7 month old, free time is not part of my vocabulary. But boy do I love those babies. My life has changed sooo much in the last 3 years. Sometimes I miss the fast pace and big city life that I left behind, but then I look at the faces of my babies, hear their laughs and it all makes sense.... At least until the next melt down or poopy diaper.

Attitude adjustment....

2010-04-23T21:02:00.003-04:00

God has been working on my heart and attitude of late. You see, about 2 weeks before Jacob turned 6 months old, we found out we were expecting again. And let me tell you, I was NOT a happy camper. The phrase "weeping and gnashing of teeth" may well describe my reaction. All I kept thinking was, "I HAVE a baby, I don't need another one!".

And my sweet wonderful husband was just as happy as he could be, and that REALLY aggravated me! I wanted him to be just as upset as I was. If he was happy about it, it made my reaction seem wrong. So along we went, I called the doctor and made my first appointment. They like to see you between 8-10 weeks... well I was pushing it out as late as possible. I was trying to avoid the fact that we really were expecting again.

Our appointment was this past Monday and all is well. We are the proud parents of a spud with nubs. While in the ultrasound, the technician mentioned that the women in just before me had lost her baby. They were able to see it, but there was no heartbeat. Sad, but I went on to the next part of the appointment. While waiting in the room for the Doctor, the door was open and I could hear this woman... sobbing. She was about 10 weeks along as well and she was brokenhearted about her loss. Those sobs just wrecked my heart. Here I was with a beautiful baby at home, and a healthy baby on the way... a baby that I was truly not happy about.

It hit me at that moment how tremendously blessed I was. And I began to pray. I prayed for this woman and her loss, I prayed for this baby growing inside me, and I prayed for my attitude. I am so thankful that God blesses us even through our bad attitudes. You see, that very well could have been me. With as rotten as I was being, I deserved it. But God used that experience to tweak my heart, to tweak my attitude. He used it to show me how truly blessed I am. To show me how precious this little life is and I know He will be with me as I mother a 13 month old and a newborn. Am I scared... YES! But we can do this. I'm guessing the next 3-5 years are going to be quite a ride. But oh what fun we're going have!

Jacob smiling and cooing

2009-12-01T14:46:00.002-05:00

My adorable little pumpkin

2009-10-28T15:23:00.003-04:00

I just had to post a photo of my little cutie in his Halloween outfit. Thank goodness for kids consignment sales. This outfit was all of $5.... And even though he'll only wear it for an hour or two, it was worth every penny.

I mean the photo op alone was worth $5 :)

I'm TIRED!!!

2009-09-15T16:08:00.003-04:00

Ok, so they made their decision....NO INDUCTION!!! Can you tell that I'm a wee bit miffed :) Oh bless, I am so ready to have this wonderful, sweet baby.

In my heart I know that God is in this decision, but I so had my heart set on being done. Bill and I have prayed fervently that God would bring Jacob in His time, and not ours. So I've got a peace about that, but when you haven't slept in a month and a half and you can barely walk due to a certain baby sitting ON your sciatic nerve, it's really hard to wrap your brain around the fact that this can go on indefinitely.

Pregnancy truly is an amazing process. God gets you started with the excitement of the first trimester. Yes you feel like you're about to toss your cookies at any second, but there's something so exciting in knowing that there is a little life growing inside you.

And then you get to the second trimester when you begin to connect with this baby growing inside. You begin to feel them and they start responding to you and it touches your heart in a way I never thought possible.

Then you enter the third trimester. And the beginning isn't so bad. Yes you're beginning to look like a small barge, but you also get to watch as your baby rips and rolls across that huge belly. No longer do you simply feel those kicks and rolls from the inside... they're now visible on the outside as well. Yes, your husband may think it's weird and you look like you've got an alien on board, but it's so much fun to watch as your belly takes on a mind of it's own. I've never been so obsessed with my own body. I still walk around with my hands clasped to my tummy. Just loving the feel of Jacob as he moves and responds to one stimuli or another.

But then you enter the END of the third trimester... No one tells you that you can literally grow 6 inches overnight. I know this to be true.. .it happened to me. There was one weekend that Bill and I could physically watch my belly get bigger. That's a disconcerting process. It's amazing and scary all rolled in to one. For the first time in your life you have absolutely NO control over what is happening in your own body. Crazy!! But beautiful. And then the baby drops, and you can now breathe, but you have to tinkle every five minutes. And even if you don't HAVE to tinkle you FEEL like you do. I sincerely thought about purchasing a set of Depends. And then the baby drops even more, and now he's sitting on your tailbone or your sciatic nerve. And let me tell you, that is a special feeling. Walking becomes something you do only if you have to... and sitting is pretty much the same. Oh and sleep...HAH!! If I get three hours a night I consider it a good night. But again, this is just God's way of preparing us for the joy that is to come. For the amazing ride that motherhood will bring.

So I'm ready for the next step. I'm done with the pregnancy part, let's bring on the baby.

It won't be long now....

2009-09-14T11:08:00.002-04:00

Well, we're almost there. I went for a check up today and the Doctor is currently deciding whether or not to induce me. They ran some tests and will make the final determination by tomorrow afternoon. If they decide to induce, they're going to do so on Wednesday. So we're gearing up and hoping for a baby sooner rather than later.

It's so hard to believe that Jacob might actually be here on Wednesday!!

Right now our prayer is that we go in to labor naturally... I've heard it's a much easier process that way. But either way, we know that God is in control and He will carry us through. I'm not nervous yet, I just keep thinking about this precious little boy and I am SOOO excited to finally meet him.

I say that now of course, when there are no contractions and no pain. But I hope to remain calm through it all.

So pray for us please!!

Best yard sale purchase...EVER!!

2009-07-29T17:34:00.008-04:00

Ok, so Bill and I have recently become AVID yardsalers...we're obsessed with them. We scope out the advertised sales on Craigslist and plan our Saturdays accordingly. Our favorites are the neighborhood yard sales.. those are the ones that we tend to have the best luck with.

Well Saturday was another yard sale day... and this one was a biggie. It was in an old Louisville neighborhood that is well established. So Bill and I get up and going... the goal is to be at said yard sale by 8 AM.. this is a tip that all pros know :) You see, if it's a really good sale and you're not there early, you usually miss all the good stuff. So we're up and going and off to find the best deal we can.

We drive through street after street scoping out each little group and we're not really finding much. The weather has started to deteriorate and we're fading fast. So we come upon one last house that looks promising.

And low and behold we find just what we've been looking for..... and we got it for a STEAL!

Here's our best yard sale purchase EVER!!

You see, we'd been talking for a while about the possibility of getting a larger vehicle. We had looked in to minivans and hadn't really found anything we liked that was affordable. We knew we wanted to go for used, but we figured we would have to really search for the right deal.

And praise the Lord, He had the perfect deal all ready for us. ....and at a yard sale no less. That is, by far, my favorite part.

The marathon of life...

2009-07-22T14:16:00.005-04:00

As many of you have heard, my husband is gearing up to run in the Chicago Marathon this October. Which, incidentally, is just about a month after we are due to have our first sweet baby blessing.

Well as Bill has been training, it has taught us both some amazing spiritual lessons. You see, running a marathon is not only a test of ones physical strength, it is a test of your spiritual strength as well. And watching my sweet husband train and grow closer to our Lord as he does so, that has been a blessing to watch.

Bill gets up each day at 3 AM to run his daily miles. These miles range anywhere from 6 to 14... depending on the day. And as the marathon grows closer, his mileage will continue to increase. And bless his heart, he's not a natural runner. This is all VERY new to him. But he keeps plugging away, keeps his eyes on the prize so to speak. You see, he prays his way through his daily miles. Because he knows that without God's help, he's not going to get through this race. And, Lord willing, come October 11th, he'll have his reward as he crosses that finish line.

Watching this training process unfold, it's such a parallel for what our spiritual walk is like. It has its ups and downs and some stints are easy little 2 mile jaunts, while yet others are those long 18 mile runs where you're chest gets tight and your legs feel like they can't go another mile. But through it all God is there. He's holding us up and carrying us through so that we can one day cross that eternal finish line. And this race is not one that we run alone, we have to depend on others to help get us through.. to hold us up when we cannot support our own weight.

Several years ago I was actually at the Chicago marathon observing. It was my first race and I was just soo excited to be there cheering on all those who were running. The race had begun to wind down and we were standing at the finish line watching as everyone began to cross. It was an amazing site to see. You could watch as these runners would turn a corner... just before they saw the finish line their faces were tired, their stances were downtrodden. Many of them looked as if they wouldn't make it to the finish. But every last one of them, when they saw that banner that said, "finish line", they each picked up their pace and seemed to fill with renewed energy.

Well one lone man was not so lucky. This gentleman was struggling openly and his poor legs looked as if they would buckle. And buckle they did, just about 200 yards from the finish. There was an audible gasp from the crowd as this poor man went down to his knees and continued to struggle, trying to stand. But his legs would simply not carry him. They were done, and it looked as if he would be done.. just 200 yards from the end. You could see the panic in the spectators, as we all began looking at one another and several started to jump over the barriers to help this man and carry him across. But there was no need, two of his fellow runners simply scooped him up and half carried, half dragged him that last 200 yards and helped him cross the line.

A cheer went up from the crowd and, looking around, there wasn't a dry eye to be found. At that moment, I had an epiphany. This is what Christianity is all about. This! Helping one another when we cannot help ourselves, allowing yourself to become vulnerable. Admitting that we can't do it on our own. We're all running this race and we are doing so TOGETHER. It's not about who can run the fastest race, it's about crossing that finish line. And whether we do so under our own power or with others carrying us, the important part is that we cross it.

I'm so glad to be reminded of that story. To be reminded that I'm not alone in this marathon that we call life. And I'm so proud to watch my husband as he prays his way through training and continues to give God the glory each and every day as he grows closer to the race. I know that he'll cross that finish line, and he'll do so by depending on the Lord to get him through it.

"My flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalms 73:26 NIV

6 months down... 3 to go!

2009-06-11T14:27:00.002-04:00

Well, we've reached the six month mark and are now heading in to our third and final trimester. It's been a wonderful pregnancy so far and I'm hoping that it continues to be easy. Of course now that we're getting in to the hotter months my feet have begun to swell and I can no longer where my wedding ring. But, baby Jacob is worth it.

We've gotten a good jump on the nursery. It's painted, the crib is assembled and the rocker is ready and waiting. Now we just need to decorate those bare walls and get a mattress and bedding for his crib.

It's hard to believe that it's almost time to meet this sweet child. I love how his personality is already coming out in utero. So far, we've figured out that he doesn't like to be forced in to action, that he's a night owl, and that we may be purchasing Dr. Dobson's book on the strong willed child. And all of this is just while he's baking... I can't wait to meet him and see if that personality, that he already seems to have, continues.

Good things come to those who wait....

2009-05-13T09:59:00.005-04:00

Sunday will be our one year anniversary. So today, I want to pay a tribute to my husband, the wonderful man that God has blessed me with.

I waited quite late to get married, and had begun to wonder if marriage was something that God had planned for me. I was happy and had grown into a truly intimate relationship with my Lord, but I still felt that there was something missing. But knowing that I could not control it, I gave it over to the Lord and asked that if His plan for me included marriage, that He would bless me with the right man. And He did. And not in the way I expected. First of all, I met my husband on E-Harmony...ok, not what I would have guessed but this IS God after all. Secondly, my husband is five years younger than I am. Again, not really something I would have chosen but... Ok God. And thirdly, he lived in Kentucky. Now I have never in my life had a desire to visit Kentucky. I'm more of a big city girl.. I like the bustle of the city, the access to take out at 2 AM... things that you just don't get in smaller places.

All these things weighed on me in those first few months of falling in love, but God always found a way to quiet my heart. To give me a peace about this man, and so I continued to trust the Lord and fall more in love with Bill. Here are just a few of the many, many reasons why I love my husband.

1) He's God filled. Bill is a Godly man through and through. I love that he takes the spiritual lead in our relationship. It is his first inclination, when faced with a decision, to go to his knees and ask God for direction.

2) Bill is thoughtful. You can say that so easily, but he is honestly the most thoughtful man I have ever met. He always, ALWAYS puts my needs above his own.

3) He's protective. Most men are protective, yes. But I think it's because Bill is so quiet naturally, that when his protective side comes out it's a site to see. I LOVE that he loves me enough to be my protector. It makes me feel so wonderfully cherished.

4) He's helpful. I love to cook, I mean I really enjoy it. I could cook all day and be happy. But I tend to make quite a large mess when I cook and I hate to do dishes. So my sweet husband cleans the kitchen. He knows that I'm not a fan of the clean up, and so he comes in each and every night and cleans up after me.

5) He's willing. Bill is analytical by nature. When making a case, you need to appeal to his sense of logic. Well, I'm not always what one would call logical. I tend to be more creative and emotional. I'm an idea person, Bill isn't. But, he is always willing to listen and try. And I could not ask for more. He may not understand it, and he usually doesn't. But he loves me, and he trusts me, and he's always willing to give it a go.

6) He's calm. This is one of my favorite qualities. I'm a whirlwind and he's a quiet breeze. When I get overwhelmed or worked up, my husband steps in and calms me. I've never been able to relax as I have being married to him. Just being with him gives me peace.

7) He's loving. I never wonder for a minute if my husband loves me. He constantly reminds and shows me. Whether it's a little touch, a whispered endearment, an act of kindness, or just saying the words. Bill shows his love in so many ways.

Dear Lord, I want to thank You today for this wonderful man that You have blessed me with. Please continue to mold our relationship and keep us growing ever closer to You as we grow closer to one another. Please remain the center of our relationship and help us to keep our eyes on You. AMEN

My bladder is NOT a trampoline!!

2009-04-07T15:50:00.005-04:00

Sweet baby is active... VERY active. Precious... I love feeling the baby. BUT, as a pregnant woman, you also have to drink copious amounts of water.. I usually try to drink no less than 2 and a 1/2 liters of water A DAY. Now put ALL that water and a bouncing baby who is sitting ON your bladder together... and what do you get... THE PERFECT STORM!

Baby Campbell's first photo

2009-03-16T12:26:00.004-04:00

Ok, I am so thankful for ultrasounds. As a first time mommy-to-be, I haven't really known what to expect with the whole pregnancy thing. And so far, it's actually been pretty text book. Sick most of the time, weird pains that you've never had before, but I hadn't really felt anything specific toward the baby yet. It all seemed sort of arbitrary and unreal.

And THEN we had the ultrasound... When the technician started, the baby was completely still.. you could see the little heart beating but no movement otherwise. Being a first time mommy, I of course asked if this was normal. And she said that it was... well as we continued to watch and listen I got tickled at some point. I started giggling and laughing and that sweet baby came ALIVE!! It started moving and grooving all over the place. At one point it raised its little hand and you could make out all five little fingers. It was just so sweet. And at that point, I connected... no longer was this an unreal experience, this was a little life... and it was REAL. And it knew it's mommy. And at that moment, I had this overwhelming feeling of love. We're having a baby!!!

King size it is

2009-02-24T09:41:00.002-05:00

We are now the proud owners of a glorious Sealy Posturpedic king size mattress. This beauty has a 3 in memory foam / latex foam topper that envelopes you as you sleep and supports each joint. I have never slept as well as I have since we upgraded. Bill and I both enjoy a soft mattress, so this gem is ideal. You seriously feel like you are sleeping on air.

King size vs. Queen size

2009-02-19T09:39:00.003-05:00

Ok, we currently have a queen size bed and have had since we got married. But my husband, bless his heart, is a SPRAWLING sleeper. He likes to spread out and that doesn't make for pleasant sleeping conditions if you happen to be the wife who is sleeping (or trying to) next to him.

So, with a baby on the way and the possibility of adding another sleeping body to our already overcrowded bed, we have decided to look in to purchasing a king size mattress. Not only will this allow me, the wife, to actually sleep without a knee in my back or an elbow in my nose. But it will make a bit of extra room for said baby. The goal being that we will transition sweet baby to their own room and bed before they are old enough to realize that they really like sleeping with mamma and daddy.

So this weekend the search will be on... I'll keep you up to date. I am REALLY hoping we can find a good deal and a comfy mattress. ... Cause honestly, I'm tired.

Appreciation and blessings...

2009-02-09T14:00:00.004-05:00

I just have to give a shout out to my sweet, wonderful husband. Lately he has started checking both cars at night to see if they need gas.. if so, he goes and fills them up... I haven't put gas in my car in months. And I know it's just a simple thing, but it is SOO nice to get in a car and just go... I love not having to worry about stopping at the gas station.

Not only does he do that, but he also washes my car, vacuums it out... He just takes SUCH good care of everything.

It still amazes me that the man you marry, the one you love more than anything and can't imagine loving more.. I love how that love grows, how it deepens. And granted, we're still relative newlyweds, but everyday of being with this man reminds me of how blessed I am. I praise God for giving me this wonderful husband. God truly did build him just for me :)

So even when picking up shoes and laundry that my sweet husband leaves ALL around the house, I still thank the Lord that I get to pick up those things, and not someone else. Because as mad as that man may make me, he is still MY blessing.

Flea Markets and spray paint... OH MY!

2009-01-06T11:53:00.011-05:00

Ok, so I've become a little bit obsessed with spray paint lately. Honestly, it's one of the best products EVER! It is simply amazing what you can do with a little time and paint.

We went to the New Years Day flea market here in Louisville... it's the largest one of the year and rightly so. It's held in the Expo Center downtown and admission is free... it was a great way to spend New Years day. We found one booth that held tables and tables of stuff all marked $2. I picked up a TON of nifty items. One of which was a set of wooden sconces that were ok, but they just didn't match my decor... enter spray paint. I went to Wal-mart and picked up a couple of cans of spray paint and WALLA! Beautiful sconces that now look like metal.. and that NOW match my decor. And I did all of this for less than $5... much to my husbands happiness.

Here are the finished sconces:

Well, since I had the spray paint out and ready I started thinking about the bedroom furniture in our guest room... and the fact that I didn't really LOVE the color. So you guessed it... SPRAY PAINT!! I went and picked up several more cans of the nifty stuff and Bill and I proceeded to "re do" our furniture. We spent the better part of two days applying coat after coat to our furniture, but the end result was worth it. Here's a pic of our handy work:

I will say one thing about spray paint... wear a mask and make sure that you have PLENTY of ventilation... But beware... even with a mask you might encounter the dreaded "black nose" ... See below:

We look like we've been playing football.... but even with the mess, it was ALL worth it.. and what a fun memory :-)

Sweet tooth

2009-01-06T11:18:00.011-05:00

My husband has a bit of a sweet tooth... I know this and I try to limit the amount of baking that I do. But, every now and then I indulge him a bit and make his FAVORITE thing... CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE Brownies. Now I don't mind making these because I don't eat them... I'm not a HUGE fan of overly chocolate things.

But Bill LOVES them and will eat the whole pan if I'm not careful. So I usually remind him that one brownie at a time is a normal serving.

Well the other afternoon as I was coming down the stairs this is what I saw.....

Here's my husband caught in the act indulging his "sweet" tooth:

He didn't finish the whole pan in one sitting, but he did finish the whole pan in two days... What can I say, he loves sweets!

This was his final indulgance of 2008... He's planning to run in the Chicago Marathon this October, so I figured one pan wouldn't hurt too much...

Christmas fun

2009-01-06T10:57:00.011-05:00

This was our first "Married" Christmas and it was sooo much fun. We had a leisurely, lazy day that started with a big breakfast, then on to opening presents and finally on to our SCRUMPTIOUS Christmas dinner of prime rib. I've never made a prime rib before, but I plan to do so again... it was GOOD! I even made homemade horseradish cream... YUMMY!!

This is our Living Room all decorated for Christmas... that's a 9 ft Christmas tree... It was HUGE!

And here's Murphy giving Bill Christmas kisses...

I think we just made the best deal EVER!!

2008-10-28T10:34:00.004-04:00

I am an avid follower of http://www.craigslist.com/. It's a nifty site that you can pretty much find ANYTHING that you are looking for. It lists garage sales in your area, estate sales and just general items that people have for sale. I am currently in furniture seeking mode, so I have been checking it daily trying to find a few very specific pieces. We are in dire need of a dining room table...right now we eat off of TV trays in our nice big living room. It's not bad when you have a fire in the fireplace, but it does make candle lit dinners a bit difficult.

We also need a new couch and accent chairs. I'm leaning toward leather, but don't really like the price tag associated with it. So that's where Craiglist comes in. I check each day and scroll through all the new listings just hoping for that really good deal.

As far as a dining set goes, I have very specific qualities I'm looking for. First, I would like a pub height table. I would also like it to have a hidden leaf...no need to go searching for said leaf when company comes. I would really like a cherry finish, but I can pretty much work with any color...it might just require more work on our part. And lastly, I would really like it to be solid wood...none of this veneer stuff. I want it to be good and solid...we tend to be a bit hard on furniture.

So yesterday here I was searching on Craigslist and I came across a posting for a pub height table with 6 stools....and a hidden leaf. There was a picture listed, but you couldn't really make out much. So I made a quick call and we decided to go see it last night.

(Insert glorious music here) When we walked in and saw the table I knew right away....this was THE ONE! It is THE table that I have been dreaming of. It's beautiful...and it was only $200...WITH the 6 stools included. Seriously, God gave us this table. I had prayed about it and He blessed us. And to top it all off...the sweet people we bought it from also delivered it to our house for us...we didn't even have to rent a truck.

It's SUPER heavy...the legs alone weigh about 30 pounds each. The woman's son had gotten some type of stain on the table top, so she stripped it down to bare wood. She was going to re stain it cherry like the rest of the set, but just never got around to it. So I think I'm going to re stain it a glossy black to match the rest of our kitchen. So the legs and trim will be cherry and the top black... We have black iron light fixtures in the kitchen along with cherry cabinetry...I think it's going to be fun to make this beautiful dining set our own. I kept walking in to the kitchen last night just to look at it... I'm so proud that we waited on the Lord. We had gone looking at several furniture stores, but we never found anything that we just loved.

And what we did find was ridiculously priced. So I started praying and thrifty shopping. I think I've been to every garage sale, Church rummage sale, and Craigslist posting out there. And low and behold we finally found THE ONE.

It's quite a lesson for me....to wait upon the lord. And I don't really know why I still get amazed when God works through our obedience... He always blesses you when you're faithful. It's become a little game for Bill and I, to give a little more here and there to see what God does. I can remember watching my parents write checks to the Lord all the while knowing it was the last they had in the bank...but not worrying because they knew God would bless them, that He would provide. And I'm here to tell you, that is THE TRUTH.

Bill and I did a little experiment not too long ago. We write our tithe checks every two weeks...that's how often we get paid, so we tithe accordingly. Well, Bill had accidentally written tithe checks two weeks in a row.... and we talked about it and decided to just let it ride. And I actually said, "oh don't worry honey, if there's one person I don't want to short, it's God. So let's just make that an extra gift to God. He says to test Him in this, so let's do and see what happens".

Now all the while I was saying this I was thinking to myself....I don't really see how God could bless us with any extra money... We don't have any refunds coming and there's really nothing for Him to use. But in spite of that, I wanted to see what God would do. And within a week, we got a check in the mail. I honestly thought it was a joke. We got a $500 check for some type of insurance refund that we had overpaid when we bought our house.

Some might say that was just a coincidence....but I know better.

No seriously...you didn't notice that???

2008-08-11T10:51:00.004-04:00

Let me start out by saying how much I love my husband...he's a true blessing, but that man is NOT observant. I've spent the last week cleaning the living room and preparing to get down and dirty with the decorating. So this weekend I've been rummaging through all my decorative items that I packed back in Chicago. And low and behold I find JUST what I've been looking for....my two matching vases that will be PERFECT for the fireplace mantel.

I get everything cleaned up and put up and am just dying for my husband to get home....I mean the entire living room is transformed now that it's been decorated. It really looks like a lived in house now.

So I wait....and for those of you who know me, you know it wasn't patiently :-) And in walks my sweet, CLUELESS husband. We say hello and I start getting dinner organized...all the while I'm watching him like a hawk, just WAITING for him to say something about the BEAUTIFUL living room.

Twenty minutes go by...still nothing. He's telling me about his day, etc....I even see him look around the room....specifically at the fireplace, and still NOTHING.

Forty-five minutes go by and I've had it.....so I say, "HONEY! What do you think of the living room?" And what do you think he said???..... "What about it?"

I look at him as if he's lost ALL his marbles and I ask him, "What do you mean WHAT ABOUT IT??" "Did you not notice that it looks completely different?? It's now clean and decorated."

And my wonderful husband looks right at me and says, "oh sorry honey, I thought it always looked like this."

SERIOULSY! How could he POSSIBLY think it had ALWAYS looked like that?!?! But that just goes to show you how truly different men and women are.

We truly speak different languages. And I'm learning to LOVE the differences between us. We truly cannot understand each other sometimes, but it's SOOOO much fun trying to figure the other out. We have learned to just laugh when Venus and Mars rear their ugly heads. And I have to say, I don't ever want to know EVERYTHING about my husband...that little bit of mystery provides just the right amount of spice :-)

Murphy can FINALLY navigate the stairs...

2008-07-31T10:11:00.003-04:00

We're moved in....sort of

2008-07-23T09:37:00.004-04:00

Ok, so we got all moved in on Saturday....after FOURTEEN HOURS!!! Yes, you heard me....FOURTEEN HOURS!!! But honestly, we have a LOT of stuff. When I moved from Chicago, I purged a TON of junk, but my husband....bless his heart..he's a natural born pack rat. So, we've made a friendly call to our neighborhood Goodwill and they're going to be picking up the junk...and I hope that someone gets good use out of it.

And so now we're surrounded by a sea of boxes...there are boxes EVERYWHERE!! It's a daunting task to unpack all those boxes, but we've taken to just getting through one box at a time. Otherwise the sheer quantity is enough to do me in :-)

We've put up a few curtains so that we don't scare the neighbors, and we're slowly but surely making our beautiful house feel like a home. I'm overwhelmed sometimes with how blessed I feel. Here we are, newlyweds and we already have this beautiful home to live in. I'm so thankful and I praise the Lord for being faithful even when I'm not. He loves me in spite of myself...thank HEAVENS for that :-) ....otherwise I'd be up a creek.

Our hilarious little puppy is enjoying his new home as well....we had tried and tried to get Murphy to go up and down the stairs on his own, but he was just too scared. So the other night I put the leash on him and walked him up the stairs. Then Bill did the same and walked him down the stairs. So now our funny little puppy barks his way down the stairs...it's as if he's saying, "I think I can...I think I can". He's soo cute :-) I got it on video and hope to post it as soon as I can find my transfer cord. Sometimes I call him up the stairs just so I can watch him walk down them....actually he slides down more than walks...but you get the picture :-)

Ooops.....

2008-07-11T22:45:00.002-04:00

Ah...well today, I scalped my husband. Back when we were dating, we bought a pair of nice hair clippers and I started cutting Bill's hair. It's not too terribly hard, and you would think it would be almost impossible to mess up.

Not so...It's actually quite easy. This evening as I was finishing up his hair and making the final trims around his ears, I tripped....and cut a nice round circle on the side of his head...all the way to the skin. "Oooops!!" There was no option other than to shave his head. ....otherwise he'd walk around looking like he had a terrible case of ring worm.

So now my poor sweet husband has no hair....and looks as if he recently enlisted in the military. But he took it all in stride.....in fact, he's quite fond of the look. I usually like to keep his hair a bit long....and he prefers to keep it short. So now he's gone and gotten his way...maybe a bit more than he bargained for. But oh well :-)

At least it will grow back....we hope :-)

The many joys of life.....

2008-07-09T14:59:00.002-04:00

Do you ever have those moments where things are just so ridiculous that you just have to laugh. I mean, you really just have to take a moment and release all of that built up tension in one BIG hearty laugh.

I had one of those days yesterday....it's basically been a whole week building up to the "cake icing" yesterday. Let me begin at the beginning.

Since Bill and I got married, we have spent about $5000 on our cars. Now, it's not as if we have old clunkers....We have a 2002 Toyota Camry and a 2001 Ford Focus. I think it's just been that both cars have reached their "needy" points at the same time...not terribly fun when you're trying to buy a house and add nifty new things to it such as furniture...but at least we're blessed with vehicles that usually run and AAA for when they don't.

About 3 weeks ago we were at a movie and had noticed that one of the rear tires on the Camry was a bit low...so on our way to the movie we stopped and put some air in the tire...just to be safe. Well then, when we come out of the movie we have a flat. But no problem, we got the tire changed and went along our merry way.

Then last week I needed to make a quick trip to the grocery store, I ran out to hop in the Focus, and realized I had a flat tire. I run in to tell my husband and then hopped in the Camry. No problem...my husband got the tire changed and we fixed it the next day.

Then on Thursday, Bill went to get in the Focus to get some gas and it started acting CRAZY!!! I mean it was sputtering and backfiring...quite honestly, you would have thought the car was possessed. So we immediately call our mechanic and he tells us that if we hurry and get the car in, they might be able to fix it before the July 4th holiday. So we did...Bill drove the Focus and I followed him to the mechanic....all I said was, "honey, DO NOT STOP for ANYTHING!!!" I figured that as long as we could keep rolling we would make it...

So we get to the mechanic and they put the car on the machine to figure out what's wrong with it. They keep it for 4 hours and we go and pick it up. And then $157.00 later they nicely tell us that there is nothing wrong with it that they can find. .....Really!!??!! Did you DRIVE the car???

So then last night my husband calls me at work and tells me that the car is DEAD...completely DEAD. It won't start, the lights won't turn on...NOTHING! Which of course means that we have a dead battery. SO we load up the old battery and take it to Auto Zone.....by this point I am not taking a chance. I want them to test that dad-blame battery to make sure that it's really dead.

They do and sure enough, deader than a doornail. So we purchase our new battery and are now happily driving two healthy cars once again....

Sometimes you just have to laugh....it doesn't help to get uptight or upset about it...it's become a bit of an adventure to drive our cars...we never know what's next :-)

Life in Louisville.....

2008-07-02T09:14:00.007-04:00

I wanted to start by including a few pics from our day. I was one of those brides who wasn't really keen on having a wedding.....and my husband was adamant that we were. So I conceded...since I knew it was so important to him....and boy am I glad I did. Our wedding day was SOOO incredibly special. It was full of laughter, tears and way too many sweet moments to count.

And now I've been a wife for almost 2 months...and I could not be happier. My husband is a true gift from the Lord. We recently finished up a Bible study called, "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. This Bible study is a MUST for anyone who is married, engaged, or even dating. As a woman, I know how important love is in a relationship, but I never knew how important respect was to a man. In fact, to a man, respect is MORE important than love.....yes, you heard me right. To a man, his need for respect supersedes his need to be loved. Now as a woman, this is a foreign concept. We, as women, would rather be anything than unloved. We crave love like we crave breath. But that need does not hold true in the same way for a man. AMAZING!!! ....but true.

And as a woman, I didn't know what it was to respect a man, particularly my husband. I found myself acting in disrespectful ways without even realizing it. I could come across as disrespectful to my husband just by the tone of my voice...go figure. Don't get me wrong, I am by NO MEANS an expert...I mean I've only been married for two months. But we joined this study with several couples ranging in married lengths from 45 years to 2 years and they all said the same thing.....this study changed the way they spoke to one another...it changed their whole behavior toward each other.

So, if you get a chance...if you have a spare minute, check out this study....it's truly an eye opening experience.

We're getting MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-02T21:37:00.002-04:00

Ok, so apparently I've jumped quite a few spaces ahead... :)

Well, Bill and I actually got officially engaged on Easter weekend. We love to hike and go camping and were home visiting Bill's family Easter weekend. Well, we had hiked to the top of a large hill and Bill had called me over under the guise of asking me a question...I knew he was talking, but I was focused on a tag on my shirt that was driving me batty....I wasn't aware of a word he said until he went down on one knee....that caught my attention but I was still unsure...thinking to myself, "is he doing what I THINK he's doing????....surely not!!!". Oh but he was!! He then asked me to marry him and after many happy tears I answered with a resounding....YES!!!!

We're actually getting married on May 17th of THIS YEAR!!!! The reason for the rush is that my brother has enlisted in the Air Force and ships out on June 1st, so if i wanted him at my wedding it had to be soon...so May 17th it is.

So, please pray that all goes well and that we are able to get all taken care of before the big day.

My sweetie

2008-01-08T16:56:00.000-05:00

Here's a pic us at New years. I spent a week in Louisville for the holidays...it was GREAT! I've met LOTS of family and friends, but we're flying to Orlando to meet his mom and step-father on Valentines...I'm nervous ;-)

WOW....I mean really, WOW!!

2007-12-16T17:58:00.000-05:00

Ok, so many of you know that I had applied for a visa to move to England. Well, September 6th that visa was declined by the British Consul. They say, when God closes one door He opens another. I had joined E-Harmony a while back but had never really done anything with it. On September 25th, God brought Bill Campbell in to my life....using E-Harmony.

I have never been a firm believer in on-line dating, but I have to tell you, God was in this meeting. Bill is an amazing man, he's a Godly man and genuinely kind. I look back to my life 3 months ago and I cannot imagine not having him. We are taking each day as it comes and we continue to pray constantly about our relationship. But I have to tell you, I am happier than I have ever been.

I never thought that God was all that good at romance, but I've changed my mind since meeting Bill :) I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God brought him in to my life. I'm amazed and giddily happy. So, if you know someone wonderful who is having a bit of trouble meeting the "right" person, please tell them about E-Harmony. Just tell them to sign up and pray...God will do the rest.

Thank you Father for blessing me with this wonderful man. And I just ask that You continue to be our center and keep us focused on You. Amen

Words.....

2007-10-29T12:21:00.000-04:00

Do you ever wonder what affect your words have?? The little things we say each day and how they effect those around us. I personally don't think about my words all that often...I'm sort of a speak before she thinks type of person. My lips move faster than my brain can process....for those of you who know me, I'm sure that this is not a surprise ;o)

On Saturday, I said something to someone..... It was just a passing thought that popped in to my head and went straight to my lips. I never thought another thing about it. Later that day, I got a call from this person thanking me for my comment. I was floored! I honestly had to think back to what they were talking about. I had no idea that this little comment, these words that I had not even given credence to could make such a difference. But to this person, it was a big deal. To them, it touched them in a special way.

That scared me. It scared me to think that words are so powerful. In this instance, my words were used to bring joy to someone. But how often do I bring pain and not even realize it. How often do we say things in anger or frustration and, while we don't give it another thought, those words can harm. They can have a lasting effect that we don't even realize.

It's given me pause to say the least. I want to be more aware of what I say, more aware of how I treat others. I know from personal experience that words can last forever. Once something is said, it can't be undone.

UGH!!!

2007-10-22T17:11:00.000-04:00

Do you ever have those days where nothing seems to go right??? I'm having one of those days. I should have known this morning when I went to make the coffee and spilled coffee grounds all over my kitchen. Do you know how hard it is to clean up coffee grounds??? Let's put it this way...I think it would be easier to move.

I then got in the car and realized I had forgotten my lunch, so I had to go back in to grab it. Got all the way back out to the car and realized I'd forgotten my computer.... Had to go back to get that. Got ALL THE WAY back to the car and realized that I had then forgotten my purse. At this point, I had to sit quietly in the car for a minute to PRAY! You see, my attitude had deteriorated quite a bit after 3 forgetful trips so I had to take a moment....a LONG moment ;o)

I get in to work, bang my car door on a pole in the parking garage (of course!!), get in the elevator and proceed to drop my lunch and watch as my apple rolls across the floor (NICE!).

I finally make it to my desk and I just sit for a minute (or 10), and relish the fact that after all that, I'm ready to face the day. I have an 8:00 AM meeting so as I prepare to go to the meeting I take one final sip of my coffee.....YUP!! down the blouse!

As I look back at today, I have one thing to say, "thank goodness it's over!!!"

Firsts and lasts.....

2007-10-12T11:59:00.000-04:00

First memory: I think I was about 2 and I remember "helping" my daddy fix the car. I remember getting down and laying under the car. I just remember laying there beside him looking up at the underneath of our car. It's a good memory.

First Real Kiss: Anthony (I was 22)....apparently I was a late bloomer ;o)

First Concert: Anne Murray

First Love: Matt Ray

First Crush: Wayne Steagull

First thought in the morning: What am I going to wear???

First book you remember loving: Sense and Sensibility

First Pet: Otis....he was a beagle poodle mix that we had when I was born. He was my self professed protector.

First thing you think of when you hear vacation: No lap-top, no voicemail, no email....YEA!!!!!!

First Best Friend: Dana Johnson

Last time you dressed up: Last month....had a dinner event to go to. It was just cocktail attire, but it was fun all the same.

Last CD bought: Mercy Me "Almost There"

Last book you read: Jane Austen's "Persuasion"

Last time you cried: Yesterday....not sure why. Sometimes you just need to shed a few tears.

Last movie I saw: The Jane Austen Book Club....It was GREAT!!!

Last time told someone "I Love You": 2 hours ago....I'm a firm believer in not holding back...you never know if you'll get another chance to say it.

Last really funny thing you did: My heel caught in my trouser cuff this morning and I tripped...it was pretty funny ;o)

Last thing you watched on TV: Grey's Anatomy

Last Halloween Costume: Raggedy Anne

Last Concert: Indigo Girls

Be still and know.....

2007-10-12T09:55:00.000-04:00

I love that song. I love that song because it always seemed so foreign to me. Be still and know. I'm not really one to ever "be still". We live in a fast paced world where stillness takes a backseat to life. When do we ever just get to sit, and just be still for a while. Sit and reflect. Sit and simply listen.....

It's easy to lose ones essence when all around you is go go go. It's so easy to lose sight of that which is truly important. That which means something. I tend to lose sight of my priorities when I go too fast. My attitude stinks and my faith begins to suffer. All this because I don't take the time to sit, and be still. To sit and know that God is God.

I came across a wonderful verse today. Exodus 14:14 says, "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." Praise God! He will fight all our battles, He will renew our hearts and souls....we simply need to sit back and accept His help. There in lies the rub....the accepting part. But honestly, don't you ever tire of trying soo hard to do it all on your own. I do! It's soo tiring trying to keep it all together...trying to MAKE things happen. When all we need to do is be still, and let God do His job. Give ourselves up to Him and let Him take the lead.

When that happens, our lives get back on track...our attitudes are once again what they should be....and our faith once again becomes strong. It's an ongoing process.....but Praise God! He's faithful even when we're not. Relax and let God....

I'm apparently IT.....

2007-10-09T17:32:00.000-04:00

Here are the rules:

(1) Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

(2) People who are tagged need to write a post on their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.

(3) At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

(4) Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

I've been tagged so here goes:

1) I am thoroughly obsessed with the BBC show Torchwood... I LOVE LOVE LOVE this show. Is it cheesy?? YES! But that's what makes it all soooo much fun. And I have to say, that Captain Jack really melts my butter ;o)

2) I really throw the southern drawl on thick when I want something from someone over the phone. My co-workers have informed me of this. Apparently I become Holly Hayseed anytime I'm asking for something via telephone. Sometimes I really hate the whole open cube layout....nothing gets by anyone ;o)

3) I screen calls. Anyone who knows me knows that I do this. I will always return the call, but sometimes you catch me in the midst of a really good show and I cannot bring myself to answer the phone. Yes I have Tivo, but I talk on the phone all day long....sometimes a little mindless entertainment helps re-charge my batteries.

4) I speed....A LOT! I know that there is a speed limit, but it is simply a suggestion in my opinion. I HATE to go slow. When driving, you will most always find me leading the pack in the fast lane...I find it exhilarating to be the one that everyone else follows. I'm sure that there is some psychological opinion as to why I do this. My guess is that it's not really something I want to delve in to deeply. I like to go fast, let's leave it at that ;o)

5) I count....EVERYTHING! I count my steps, I count signs, I count everything. OCD some may say, NAH! I like to say thorough.

6) I HATE to do dishes. I buy disposable cups, silverware, pans, plates, serving utinsils...everything! I REALLY dislike dishes. And it doesn't help that I have no dishwasher in my apartment. I'm IT!!

7) I'm a crackshot. My daddy taught all of us how to handle a gun...and I still enjoy shooting. I've shot skeet a time or two, but I prefer pistols. My favorite was a little 22 automatic that my dad had. It would fire all 9 bullets at once if you continued to hold the trigger down. No need to cock it...it was the perfect "girl" gun.

8) I LOVE to cook..... Planning an entire menu from beginning to end. For me, cooking is a way to relax. Most people get a bit stressed when they entertain. Not me, I love it!! And the more people I have to cook for, the happier it makes me.

I've tagged Rachel, Stephanie, Ben, and Deidre

My name is R-E-G-I-N-A!!!!

2007-08-17T11:49:00.000-04:00

Last weekend I made a trip to Ikea. I love Ikea...it's fun just to walk around and imagine all the potential that surrounds you. I personally LOVE to put all that stuff together...I think I get that from my daddy. Growing up he made building things an event...that's always sort of stuck with me ;o)

Anywho, back to Ikea. While I was there in Saturday I had to return something so I went to the Customer Service Desk. They usually give out numbers but were out, so they were taking names instead. Now I have a fairly simple name...Regina. I don't personally think of it as hard to pronounce. And you can clearly see that my name begins with an R...not a V!!

As my turn comes due, over the Store loud speaker I hear this...."VIRGIN!! You're next...VIRGIN!! Please come to the Customer Service Desk!!!" I immediately know that they have mistaken R-E-G-I-N-A for V-I-R-G-I-N. To top it all off, when I get up to the Customer Service Desk, the gentlemen at the desk says, "are you V-A-G-I-N-A??" I said, "NO, my name is Regina...that's R-E-G-I-N-A with an R!!".....

Next time, I'll just stick with Rose....I mean surely they can't screw that one up ;o)

Bloom where you are planted

2007-07-30T22:34:00.000-04:00

Bloom where you are planted...that's been my conviction of the day. The honest truth is, I haven't been blooming lately...I've given up and decided that I want to be somewhere else.

That's a terrible thing...I expect God to pick up and bless me with something new, when here I am having a bad attitude and expecting to be rewarded.

Tonight I was flipping channels on cable and I came across "Facing the Giants" of all shows. And I knew that this was God's way of speaking to me. He had a lesson that he wanted me to learn tonight...and I'm listening. Don't give up, and BLOOM WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED!!!

Right now, I'm planted in Chicago...thus I must make the most of it. If I cannot bloom and flourish here, what makes me think that a new bit of scenery will change anything. It's not about my surroundings, it's about my heart. And I've got to make sure that my heart is for the Lord, all the rest will come in God's due time.

Footprints

2007-07-30T00:11:00.000-04:00

"It was then that I carried you".......

Footprints

One night a man had a dream.

He dreamed he was walking along the beach

with the LORD.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.

For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the

sand: one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he
looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of his life

there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest

and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the
LORD about it:

"LORD, you said that once I decided to

follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But

I have noticed that during the most troublesome

times in my life, there is only one set of footprints.

I don't understand why when I needed you most you

would leave me."

"The LORD replied:

"My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never

leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when

you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

Written by Mary Stevenson

Why I hate newspapers....

2007-07-23T22:11:00.000-04:00

Ok, I'm as polite as the next person, but I draw the line if you have something on your face. I refuse to let anyone in my vicinity walk around looking like a goon because I was too "polite" to tell them they had broccoli in their teeth or a big black smudge on their face.

Today, I started my morning off reading the paper...I don't always read the paper, I usually have no extra time in the morning. But today, I had a few extra minutes to grab a paper and read it with my morning coffee. Apparently while reading said newspaper my fingers were coated in that lovely black ink that all newspapers leave behind.

At noon today...NOON!!!! I was talking to a friend down the hall from my office and she said, "Oh Regina, did you know you have a large black mark on your nose?" Did I know I had a large black mark on my nose??...NO, I did not know that. Do I know when I got said black mark on my nose??...YES! I got said mark at 7:00 AM this morning....FIVE HOURS before my nice friend brought it to my attention!!

So the moral of this story, PLEASE don't be polite....TELL a sister if she's got something ON her face, IN her teeth, or even IN her nose...she'll thank you later...I Promise!!

Summer-itus and Uncertainties

2007-07-18T20:12:00.000-04:00

WOW! Do you ever look back at certain points in your life and say to yourself, "is this it?" "Is this all I'm ever going to do, all I'm ever going to be?" That's where I am right now. I've reached a wall in my career.... basically, I've decided that this is NOT the career that I want. This is not the job that I want to be doing for the rest of my life. BUT, now what do I do??

There in lies the ultimate question. I'm unsettled, I'm uncertain of my future, and I'm done. But again, what do I do now?? And the answer is, PRAY!!!.... PRAY A LOT!!! For the past year I've felt as if God was moving, leading me toward something. I've felt Him working and I've known that a big change was coming, but I wasn't exactly sure what that change would be. I'm still not certain of the change, but I do know this....I've got some large decisions to make.

First and foremost, what do I want to do?? If I don't want to do what I'm doing, what is it that truly strikes my fancy, floats my boat, makes me kick my heels together in glee?? And right now, I honestly don't know the answer to that question. I'm praying and asking God to lead me to it. Because I've got to tell you, I'm completely at a loss.

And secondly, where do I want to be?? And by this, I mean do I really want to stay in Chicago?? I've made a life for myself here, but I don't think this is really where I want to BE to STAY.... Where I want to spend the rest of my life. So then, where do I want to BE?? Where would I be most happy and settled?? That's another question for God. I have a few ideas, but they all seem so far fetched. I'm simply praying and asking God for His direction, for His peace, for His strength to continue the search. I'm open to whatever he holds in store for me. I'm willing to go where He leads me, I'm just in need of His direction.

If possible, I'd prefer the whole lightening bolt in the sky approach, but I'll settle for anything.

So please pray for me. Please pray that God continues to work and continues to direct my life. And please pray that I will have the strength to follow where He leads.

True Love

2007-07-08T17:55:00.000-04:00

While in Wigan a few weeks back, I was fortunate enough to attend a wedding. At this wedding, they read a beautiful poem that I would like to share. We're not exactly sure who wrote said poem, but that doesn't really matter...it's the words that count.

-- True Love --

True love is a precious flame
That burns perpetually
And none can dim its special glow
Or change its density

True love speaks in tender tones
And hearts with gentle ear
True love gives with open heart
And true love conquers fear.

True love makes no harsh demands
It neither rules nor binds
And true love holds with gentle hands
The heart that it entwines.

Author Unknown

Oh that we would all be so fortunate to find that one "true love" some day.

Distance

2007-07-04T07:51:00.001-04:00

Have you ever felt shy with God?? You get on your knees to pray and it crosses your mind, "I wonder what He's going to say, what He's going to do when I tell Him this?"

Or your'e simply too shy to even get on your knees with Him in the first place. You feel as if you can't tell Him something for fear that He won't answer you.... or for fear that He will. Sometimes it seems easier to hold on to something so that you don't have to trust the Lord with it. You feel that if you're holding on to it, you don't have to wonder what God is going to say or do.

You've got it all wrapped up nice and tight....and it begins to FESTER. This thing you're holding on to begins to sour the rest of your relationship with God. By not giving Him this ONE thing, you've infected the rest of your spiritual walk. And it begins to grow.... if you're not careful, you soon have a malignancy that is slowly killing off the rest of your faith.

I know, because this has been my recent struggle. I've been shy of going to the Lord on my own behalf. I'm great when praying for others, and I truly trust that the Lord will be there. But when praying for myself, I've been empty.

And I can feel this lack of communication, it affects the whole rest of my walk. I can feel my attitude slipping, my heart gets a tiny bit harder.... And it's all just little things that could be attributed to having a bad day or stress. But the truth of the matter is that this is being caused because I'm not communing with God, I'm not talking to Him. I've closed our line of communication and by doing so, I've let fear and doubt take over. And we all know that these are NOT from God.

So I'm trying, I'm trying to talk to the Lord. It's still difficult, but slowly and surely I know that I will make my way back to that closeness I felt just a short time ago.

The crazy part is, He's there waiting for me, urging me to come to Him and give Him this burden that I carry. I know this!!.... it's just difficult sometimes to trust.

Just a few pics of the trip

2007-06-27T13:25:00.000-04:00

This was Bolton Abbey. We went here on our second day in England, it was cold, wet and rainy and I LOVED it!! It just made for a truly authentic English experience.

New friends

2007-06-26T18:06:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had just an instant connection with a group of people?? You walk in and you realize that you're home, that you belong.

That's how I felt while in Wigan these past 2 weeks. I've never met such a wonderfully welcoming group of people..... they were and are just tremendously loving and kind. And talk about funny, I've not laughed so much in ages.... it was a GREAT workout. In fact, I lost 4 pounds while over there....all of it I attribute to a certain Webster.

It's a true testament to the power of Christ's love and how it connects us. No matter where you go, as long as you are in the presence of Christians, you are home.

Thank God for unanswered prayers

2007-05-18T10:49:00.000-04:00

To steal a line from Garth Brooks, "thank God for unanswered prayers". I just recently joined a womens prayer group, and we are now currently in the midst of the Beth Moore study, "A Heart Like His". This study delves in depth in to the story of David. Now I personally love David, I've always felt a sort of kinship with him as he's so "human". Basically, he made a LOT of mistakes. And yet, the Lord LOVED David.... I mean, he was a man "after God's own heart". How amazing is that!?! David was rash, he was impulsive, but he was also incredibly repentant. His intentions were right, simply misguided.

This is exactly how I feel. You know how God tells us to be sly as serpants and gentle as doves....well I've got the sly thing down, but I'm about as gentle as a Mac Truck. It's just not my nature to sit back and watch....I'm a doer. But Christ tells us to rise above our own nature and take on His. No matter what "I" would do, I have to do what Christ would do. ......and how humbling to know that boy do I have a long way to go.

Back to unanswered prayers. This thing that I have been praying for, this thing that has taken up so much of my time. I've released it. It's not about me, it's not about IT, it's about God, and my relationship with Him. When God says no or doesn't answer a prayer like we wanted, he ALWAYS has something better in mind....ALWAYS! "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong". ......I am weak, BUT....He is strong...... Nuff said

Another little tidbit from Beth Moore...... During the study last night, I came accross something quite profound...or at least I found it to be so. In her studyguide, Beth talks about having "faith in faith" rather than having "faith in the living God". Now I don't know about you, but that rocked me. Do you know how often I put my faith in faith!! Sometimes, I get so caught up in the process, that I forget WHO it is that I should truly be focusing on. What good is faith if you aren't trusting in God. How far are you going to get on an empty tank?? You get caught up in sacrifice, rather than obedience.

WOW! Where have I been?? Why am I only now beginning to work at my relationship with Him?? I mean, HELLO, I grew up in a Christian home, went to a Christian College....... Again, where have I been???

It's been an interesting week to say the least, but I'm so glad that Christ is working. "How loving and patient He must be......cause He's still working on me" ....... AMEN!

Speed bump ahead

2007-05-14T16:16:00.000-04:00

You know, I was forewarned that when you are truly reaching that closeness with the lord and you really feel like your relationship has finally reached the pinnacle......BOOM! That's when the devil strikes.

Sure enough, his attacks have begun. They started on Saturday, just a general sense of ennui, and the feeling grew yesterday, and was fairly full blown today. It's just a sense of feeling like God has forgotten me a bit.

I've been praying about something in particular for at least the past month, possibly more. I have been devoting myself in prayer and fasting and I've waited for an answer from the Lord, and still nothing. No answer, no general sense of any kind. And I know that God's timing is never what ours is, but I've been faithful to this and I was hoping that He would see me through.

I know that He will. My head knows that He is still there, but my heart is feeling a wee bit left behind. And my attitude has gotten a bit stinky because of how I am feeling. That is OF COURSE straight from the devil. But, in spite of my feelings, I still know that He will answer me, I just need to WAIT!!

That is of course the ONE thing I don't want to do. I don't like to WAIT. I'm all about instant gratification. The Lord knows this, which is of course why I am being directed to wait. He's working on me. This is the reason that I NEVER pray for patience....He gives it to me.

So while I am not at a spiritual high at the moment, I do know that God is here. He's listening, and no matter how I feel, I know that He has not forgotten me. He loves me and He will answer me in His time, not mine.

So pray for me, particularly for my attitiude. And whatever you do, please don't pray for patience......

Movin and shakin

2007-04-29T13:19:00.000-04:00

How great is our God! Lately, Christ has been more alive to me then ever before. I finally feel as if I have reached the pinnacle and found the intimate relationship that I have always been searching for. To KNOW that God is here, to KNOW that He loves me, to KNOW that I am saved and that I AM going to heaven. WOW!

I just hate that it has taken me this long to find this relationship.......To find this peace that I have longed for.

Growth

2007-04-03T15:17:00.000-04:00

Wow, isn't it amazing when you can actually feel God working. Lately, I have actually felt Him pricking my heart and molding me. I've been praying a lot lately, and have specifically asked Him to help me work on certain things. Boy has He answered my prayer. Now every time I turn around, I'm feeling convicted and I know it's directly from Him.

And while growth is never truly an enjoyable process, I love this feeling of being one with Him. Of knowing that He is there, that He cares and is active in my life.

I continue to pray that He gives me the strength to glorify Him and accept His direction. I constantly struggle with allowing Him to stay in control...... I tend to get cold feet and try to take the reigns. But as past experience has taught me, that's not such a great idea.

6Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6

16Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16

5How blessed is the man whose strength is in You, In whose heart are the highways to Zion! Psalm 84:5

1God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

7On God my salvation and my glory rest; The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God.
Psalm 62:7

10"For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake, But My loving kindness will not be removed from you, And My covenant of peace will not be shaken," Says the LORD who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:10

A few of my favorite verses.....

2007-03-22T13:02:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to share a few of my favorite verses. It has only been in the last year that I have truly begun to go to the scripture to find solace. I used to long for the desire to dealve in to God's word, but there always seemed to be something more interesting to read. This list is constantly changing, but these are the ones that are on my heart right now:

7"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in Him. 8He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:7-8

20"Do men make their own gods? Yes, but they are not gods!" 21"Therefore I will teach them—this time I will teach them my power and might. Then they will know that my name is the LORD." Jeremiah 16:20-21

30"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is vain; but a woman who fears the LORD shall be praised." Proverbs 31:30

28"And we know that all things work together for good for those that love God, and have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

31"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

7 "The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple. 8The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes. 9The fear of the LORD is pure, enduring forever. The ordinances of the LORD are sure and altogether righteous." Psalm 19:7-9

26"You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, 27for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. 28There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise." Galatians 3:26-29

11"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

God's Blueprint

2007-03-21T14:31:00.000-04:00

Do you ever have those introspective days where you look back over the path your life has taken and you wonder.....What was God's plan, His blueprint if you will????

I look back at my path so far, and it fascinates me how God has worked in my life. He has used the chaos to shape and mold me. When in the midst of a trial, it's so easy to blame Him for your circumstance or to lose faith that He even cares or is aware of your situation. But I'm here to tell you, He DOES know, and He DOES care, and He will NEVER leave you alone to suffer. His plan is SOOO much bigger than our tiny minds can fathom.

Over the past five years, my path has taken me in directions I never would have imagined, most of them not to my particular fancy. But in spite of the difficulties, God was there all the time using each experience to make me a better child of His.

I had to die to myself......and I'll tell you, it's not a fun process. He literally had to bring me to my knees before I would obey Him and give myself fully to Him. But once I gave up the control that I had been fighting so hard for, I was filled with the most amazing peace. I had been fighting Him, afraid that He would make a mistake, while all the time I was the one making the mistakes.

He has promised to never forsake us. "6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6

That promise is all I need.......

The Ides of March

2007-03-15T16:05:00.000-04:00

Today is one of those days prime for reminiscence. This, the Ides of March, is the 3rd anniversary of having lost my daddy. I miss him everyday, but as the years go by and the ache begins to dull, I start to pinpoint those little things that I miss the most.

I miss his laugh....he had one of those chuckles that pulled you in and made you want to laugh too.

I miss his hands....he had a workers hands, rough and calloused, but his touch was always gentle.

I miss his wisdom....anyone who knew Tom Rose knew what a wonderful fount of wisdom he was. He always gave the most wonderful advice without seeming to direct you. He would simply give you his opinion and thoughts on any given situation and then let you make your decision.

I miss his hugs....he could squeeze you like no one else.

I miss his scent....daddy always smelled like outdoors and aftershave.

While I miss him, I know that he is safe in the arms of the angels and that I will one day get to see him again. Thank you God for that promise, thank you God for eternal life, thank you God for sending your Son to die on the cross so that I might live.

Thank you........

A new life

2007-03-11T20:55:00.000-04:00

Do you remember the day you were baptized?? I do, I was 14 years old, and it was at the South Texas Youth Conference in San Antonio, Texas. I had that all important moment when I realized if I died that day, I would not go to heaven. That was the instant I knew I wanted to be baptized. Now you might find that odd for someone who grew up in the Church, baptism is usually the natural progression. But you see, I wanted this, the biggest decision I would ever make, to be my own. My mother had begun to despair of me ever becoming a Christian. She had resorted to making me study the Bible, and baptism in particular.

But it wasn't that I did not know what baptism was or what it meant. It was simply that I would not be pushed in to making a decision that I was not ready to make. I took my eternal life very seriously, and I wanted to do it for the right reasons, not simply to make someone else happy. I cannot imagine what would have happened if I hadn't had that "come to Jesus" moment.

This morning I had the privilege to witness two women be baptized. These women had been brought up in the Church, but had fallen away and both had only recently come back to Him. They both talked about how they had always meant to be baptized, but had just never seemed to get around to it. Wow! How easily that could have been me.

It has been a while since I have viewed a baptism. I'd forgotten what a beautiful thing it is when someone dies to themselves and decides to live for Him. This morning it was a joyous occasion, one chock full of clapping, praising and joyful tears. It gave me just a minute glimpse of what heaven might be like....and I have to tell you, it was AWESOME!!

Faith

2007-03-04T20:42:00.000-05:00

Have you ever wondered what faith is??? I was recently reading Hebrews 11, and if you've ever read that before you know that it talks a LOT about faith. The definition given in Hebrews 11:1 is, "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

How beautiful and simple an explanation. "By faith we understand that the universe was formed by God's own hand."

It tells of what Enoch did by faith, Issac, Abraham, Abel, Noah, Jacob, Moses and so on. The list is far too long to recite here. But the point is, all of these individuals went out, in faith, and did what God told them; all the while knowing that they may not receive their reward while on earth. In fact, Hebrews 11:39-40 says, " 39These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. 40God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect."

Many died for their faith. That's an incredibly humbling prospect for me. I LOVE the Lord with all my heart and soul, but to die for my faith..... I pray that this earthly life has no such hold on me.

"For our God is an ALL consuming fire"

Sunshine on a cloudy day.....

2007-02-22T09:13:00.000-05:00

That is one of my favorite things. Watching as the sun comes out from behind the clouds, seeing the whole perspective change as the light hits the earth. It's like a breath of fresh air when that warmth hits your face.

I think that is what God's love feels like...... It's this incredible warmth that envelopes you and penetrates to your very core. It lights you up from within.

God is good....isn't He!!

This is the day that the Lord has made!

2007-02-15T11:08:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning literally singing that song. I think it may have something to do with the fact that Spring is just around the corner....and I could not be happier. The sun is actually shining today and teasing us with the promise of future warmth. By looking outside, you would never suspect that it is only 8 degrees.

I love that each season is distinct. As one season turns to another, I love to watch the earth awaken to the charm. Watching as Winter turns in to Spring is one of my favorite transformations. It puts me in mind of being Saved. We start out as a cold dead thing, grey of soul and without life, and then Christ comes along and fills us with Eternal life. Watching that process happen is as distinct in our lives as it is to the earth's change. How awesome is our God!

Prayer

2007-02-14T08:21:00.000-05:00

Isn't God good! This morning as I was pulling out of the driveway and dreading the 75 ft drive down an un-plowed alley, I started praying...HARD. You see, there is about 2 ft of drifted snow in my alley and I drive a front wheel drive vehicle, not 4 wheel drive. From past experience, I know that this short little 75ft jaunt can be QUITE treacherous when snow is involved. I've gotten quite good at the front wheel "Rock". That's where you get stuck, and then proceed to "rock" yourself back and forth by switching from "drive" to "reverse" quite quickly.

Needless to say, I was a wee bit apprehensive as I got in to my car this morning to start that seemingly endless journey down the alley. Before I began, I stopped and said a heartfelt prayer to the Lord asking Him to bless my morning and to PLEASE let me get out without getting stuck. As He so often does, He answered immediately. I backed right out and then pulled forward in to the grooves in the snow and went on my merry way with no issues whatsoever. I was overjoyed and thanked Him profusely. How blessed we are as Christians to have a Heavenly Father to watch over us and to be there for us always.

I no longer have an earthly father, he passed away 3 years ago. And it was one of the hardest things I have ever been through. But in losing my daddy, I had to learn to depend on God in a way that I never had before. That loss brought me to a truly intimate relationship with my Heavenly Father. I'm reminded of Romans 8:28 which says, "And we know that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose."

SNOW

2007-02-13T17:44:00.000-05:00

You know, I moved to Chicago because I really got a kick out of the snow. Growing up in Texas, I never really saw snow that stuck. Our version of snow was more the flakes without the accumulation. Now that I live in Chicago, I've gotten pretty up close and personal with SNOW. And today, I actually found out what a snow drift was. I found out.....THE HARD WAY. It just took walking out my door and off what I thought was the last step...only to find out that it was actually the 3rd form the last step. I sunk into a nice little snow drift up to my knees. And of course I had on my short snow boots. But you know, all I could do was giggle. I thought of what I must look like standing there buried up to my knees laughing at myself. And it only made me laugh all the harder. And then....I lost my balance. And yes......I fell flat on my rump in about a foot of drifted snow. And that caused me to laugh all the more. So, despite an inauspicious beginning, my day actually turned out quite okay.